Back Again
by Gabbing Away
Summary: Does anyone ever wonder what would happen if the "Real Ritsuka" came back?
1. Chapter 1

**Ritsuka**

Does anyone ever wonder what would happen if the "Real Ritsuka" showed up?

**A/N:** MAJORLY REFORMED

* * *

I woke up with a pounding head and the sensation that I had missed a large chunk of my life. Ask me not how one knows exactly how to articulate this sensation but when one come across such a sensation, one _will_ know. Anyway, I felt really bad, like someone had been beating my body with a pillow case full of bricks. Why? Why did I choose 'pillow case full of bricks'? I have no worldly idea. I felt like crap and my brain was... fuzzled?

Hahahahahahahahhhaaah, what a funny word… 'fuzzled'….

I waited a moment to let the pounding and internal hysterics subside a bit. As you can probably tell, my thought process was… off, a little, just a little. It took forever but when I decided it was safe to speak without my brain jumping out of my head and that I wouldn't start randomly laughing at nothing, I started crying. Next on the agenda? Calling for Mommy like a baby?

Why yes, how could I tell?!

"Mom?" I called, hating myself for letting my voice sound so childish and whiny. But I was feeling like I had been mauled by a _very_ large animal, a bear maybe? I feel I was entitled to be childish and whiney, just a little though.

No one answered.

"Mommy?!" I was on the brink of screaming and I hated myself even more for it, I was supposed to be a boy! Boys don't make that kind of noise! Only girls and babies!

Still nothing.

"Seimei?!" I called when nothing from my mother was forthcoming... It took me a moment to realize my mistake. _Crap_, Seimei was _dead_! Why was I calling for him? He wasn't going to crawl out of his grave like 'Whoa, baby bro, whatcha need?' last time I checked, dead people didn't do that.

I started to panic, where was everyone? More, how could I have _forgotten_ that my brother was _dead_? What kind of little brother did that make me? I tried to focus a moment, focusing. There was still the pain in my heart, not that of a fresh wound, but of one that had been healed somewhat by the passage of time.

Worried, and not caring that I hurt all over, I sat up, it didn't take too long for the silence to get to me. Steeling myself, I jumped out of bed, immediately, I knew something was terribly wrong; I hadn't stepped on anything. I glanced around. My room looked a... off. Mom, Dad and I had moved here shortly after Seimei's death and this was my room. Nothing seemed familiar, though it was obviously still my room. It was clean; everything was put away and I couldn't see any of the random stuff I used to have lying around all over. There was the odd book every so often but it still looked like a neat freak lived in _my_ room. And if there is anything that Aoyagi Ritsuka is not, that would be a neat freak. I shuffled forward and nearly tripped; I was dragging my feet in order to get through all the stuff that was not on my floor.

Mom must've done it, I decided definitively.

I glanced around, and there was my bulletin board! I moved over to it. And gaped, what on earth had happened to all the pictures on my bulletin board?! They were all gone; instead there were a lot of pictures of this blonde guy with glasses and no ears and a pink haired girl. I tugged one of the many pictures of the man out from under a thumb tack. The man looked vaguely familiar, as if I'd seen him a couple times on the street and could barely remember his beautiful face. I turned to see what else had changed, setting the picture on my nightstand and picked up a framed picture of the same man. He was painting and obviously didn't know he was being photographed. I looked closer to see what he was painting.

A... butterfly?

This is getting a little _weird_, I thought, setting the picture frame down.

I peeked out into the hallway. It was darkened, and, abruptly, I was crushed by fear and loneliness. Mom had never really liked me, Dad didn't really seem care and Seimei was gone. I went to Mom's room and opened the door a little. She was in bed and sleeping, I knew she'd get mad if I woke her so I went back to my room and turned on the nightstand lamp, just realizing that I was seeing by the light of the moon. Something glinted from my desk in the dim light.

A cell phone?

I moseyed on over and gingerly picked the phone up. It was silver and was connected to a necklace. It wasn't heavy, though it looked like it might be. I flipped it open.

A butterfly? How gay was that. I mean, I guess it was pretty but... come on, _really_? I contemplated the butterfly for two second before I decided that this was, indeed, not my phone. I pressed the 'menu' button, then 'contacts'. Maybe I could find out whose phone it was, maybe it was someone I knew.

Agatsuma Soubi...

Hawatari Yuiko...

Kaidou Kio...

Shiori Yayoi...

What the HELL!!! Whose phone was this, who in the _holy hell_ were these people?!

Zero Natsuo...

Zero Yoji...

Who in the hell were _they_? What kind of name was that?! I stared at the phone in disbelief for a second, wondering why it was in my room? It obviously wasn't mine... But then, why would this random phone be on my desk if it wasn't mine? Maybe I found it or—

I nearly had a heart attack when the damn thing started spastically beeping and vibrating. It took me a moment to recover from the phones spaz attack. Who would be calling at—

I glanced at my alarm clock.

—at ten o' clock at night? How_ off_ was that? But maybe it was normal for whoever owned the phone.

Incoming Call:

Agatsuma Soubi

He was one of the contacts... Well, maybe he'd have some answers.

I pressed 'talk'.

"Who are you?" I demanded, skipping the pleasantries. "Why are you calling at ten at night? Who's phone is this? Do you know how—?"

The list could've gone on and on and on and I fully intended for it to but he cut me off.

"Ritsuka? I told about the fighter that called earlier, didn't I? I also remember telling you 'around ten', I need you." Words to describe this voice? Angelic, deep, beautiful... That list could go on and on forever too.

'I need you'? Wow... as soon as the words were said in that voice, I felt myself melting. Words to describe the stuff he was saying? The phrases 'over my head' and 'oh my god crazy' came to mind.

"But—" still confused, I tried to make sense of what was going on. 'Fighter'? More, how did he know my name?! "Who—"

An exasperated sigh, "I'll be there in ten minutes, get ready."

Click.

He hung up. I stood, confused, with the phone to my ear for a moment. What the hell? The dial tone rang in my ear. I snapped the phone shut.

What would be happening in ten ... minutes...

Ten minutes?

_Ten minutes_?

What was I supposed to get myself ready for? Simply someone I don't know? A child molester? A rapist? A murderer? A killer? A model citizen? Should I call the police? Should I tell mom? For about eleven minutes I was worried about this guy I didn't know, but who knew? Me apparently, he was coming to my house to pick me. I mean what the heck. The middle of the night? Talking nonsense about possibly dangerous situations that apparently needed my person to proceed? Someone in that equation was on drugs. And it was most definitely… most likely… not me? Crap, am I on drugs?! That would explain a _lot_…. But soon, even hose thoughts began to fade and, then, I started panicking about what on earth he meant by 'fighter' and why it involved me. I do _not _fight and I will not be an accessory. But eleven minutes after he called, I'm just kind of wondering how loud I could scream for help without Mom waking up. This is _if_ Agatsuma-san ever shows up. I mean seriously, if you're going to scare a small child so badly that he almost pees his pants (not, of course, that I had almost peed myself…) at least be _on time_!

I got up off my bed and started pacing, again, for lack of anything better to do. _Tic-toc, tic-toc_, goes the proverbial clock. I paused, since when did I use the word 'proverbial'? Since when did I even _know_ the word 'proverbial'? Now that I thought about it, a lot of words I'd never used. But, apparently, knew, where floating around. I sat down on my bed again, and then I flopped backward, deciding that I should take a nap while I waited for my potential kidnapper. I was worn out; fearing for your life can do that to you. I glanced down at the phone still in my hands. What the hell? Why was I still holding it? I thought angrily, rearing back and preparing to throw the damn thing across the room when it started to chirp and vibrate, again. "What in the name of all that is holy and peaceful and right--" I gasped before I could stop myself. I dropped the little abomination in surprise then stared at it, still kind of shocked.

_One second..._

Beep, bee-ep, boop, vibrate, bell, vibrate

"Again? What the _hell_? People calling in the dead of the night? No sense of decency whatsoever!" I grumbled, snatching the phone up from the pillow it had fallen onto and checked the id.

_Incoming Call:_

_Private Name _

_Private Number_

And probably more people spouting off stupid, possibly drug induced, crap about fighting and just generally telling me lies in a nice voice but showing up late and probably a pedophile anyways, coming to kidnap me and taking me to a....

What in the name of all that is holy and pure and sanctified?!

I flipped open the phone.

"Whose phone is this? How did you get this number? Are you going to explain anything? If not you can just go to hell and stay there until you feel like fessing up," I greeted, maybe just a tinny bit aboveandbeyondpissed.

There was a very high pitched, what I assumed was supposed to be, nonchalant giggle. "It's your phone. I got it from Ritsu-Sensei. And I'm not going to go to hell. I don't have any answers." Her voice... annoyed me; I held the phone away from my ear.

I stared at the phone, a little disgruntled that the woman had kept up with my... ranting?

"Who are you and what do you want?" I asked harshly.

"Short term memory loss, eh, Rit-chan?" she giggled again. "It's Nagisa-Sensei, remember? And I want to know just as much as you do."

I hung up the phone. The woman, Nagisa-Sensei apparently, had started making small talk after I'd made it clear that, no, I would _not_ be talking to her. She kept on saying crap about how cute I would look in the matching dress she made for me... I felt it necessary to point out that A) I am, despite popular belief, a boy, B) I had no worldly idea who in the heavens or hells she was, and C) that I would kill her personally if she ever came within six feet of me with a dress that was not on her person. After I threatened her life for about the third or fourth time I realized that I could just hang up.

So I did. And that was the sad end of that… could it even be _called_ a conversation? I would rather call it phone stalking, which serves me better. I plopped down on the edge of my bed having forgotten all about the thirty minute late Agatsuma-san. My mind swirled with questions and for a moment I felt like I could pass out, or cry… again. What was going on? Why was this happening to me? Why did I feel like I'd been sleeping for an eternity? Who where these people who were calling in the dead of night on a phone that is… mine?! If it was my phone why did I have no recollection whatsoever of said phone? Why was—

_Stop thinking!_ An inner voice growled. _You're giving me a headache. _I meditated on this voice for a moment and on the fact that this was my own head that the voice was speaking of. I decided that I should probably obey; the thinking _was_ giving me a headache. For a second I just stared at the wall.

There was a knock at the door that led to my balcony and I gasped in surprise, scrambling to get away. I really couldn't blame myself. My nerves were worn and I'd just spent the last thirty minutes or so being scared out of my pajama pants and contemplating why I felt like crap and—

Without waiting for an answer the door opened and a tall, lean blonde... adult stepped inside. It was dark out and the street lamps from outside created a halo of light around him.

_He_ is_ an angel, isn't he?_ the voice sighed, but I ignored him in favor of gawking. Obviously, hero worshiping was in order. This guy commanded a reaction from me that no one, short of Seimei, obviously, had ever gotten from me. I felt the inexplicable, off the wall notion that I _needed_ to be near him and I almost got up and flung myself at him. Almost.

In spite of the fact that I was having an aneurism from the facts that, A) he had just busted into my room like the kidnapper I'd been waiting for, B) he was an angel without wings, and C) the feeling that I knew him was running rampant along my frayed nerves, I stared at him thoughtfully, trying to place him, but failed miserably. Silence enveloped the room, and I knew, vaguely, that I should be calling for help, or pleading with him not to kill me, but, under me initial panic, I was… at ease, in his presence, whether he was a stranger to me or no. Then I realized why he looked so familiar—the _pictures_!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, I sighed mentally in recognition.

He gave me a funny look, had been giving me a funny look ever since he walked in and I gasped and stared drooling over him, well, minus _actual_ drool. 'Ewwww,' I mentally gagged. 'He's a guuuuuuuuuuuyyy! No more drool!'

_Yeeeaaah_, the sardonic voice in the back of my head felt the need to chime. _Tell that to your libido, Sherlock._

'Libido?' Since when did I even _know _that word? What did it even mean?

The voice sighed like I was being a thorn, _That would be your sex drive, Sherlock._

'Ohhhhhhhh…. Hey!' this mental voice wasn't being very nice, and a little heavy with the 'Sherlock' business. I sat up a little straighter. My _normal_ mental brow beatings didn't usually involve that much sarcasm, or calling myself stupid. I shook it off and silently vowed to stop using that mental voice.

I turned back to...

"Agatsuma-san?" I asked, eyeing him. I got the feeling that he _would _look better than he did in the pictures if he didn't look so wiped out.

He nodded slowly, still giving me that odd look, and, by nodding, he exposed the bloodied bandage around his neck. I saw a bit of flesh and it was not pretty. Was it infected or something?

"Ritsuka, are you… okay?" he asked slowly, stepping forward, to give me a closer look.

"_Me_?" I asked incredulously. "What about you? Your _neck_ is _bleeding_." This, of course was stating the incredibly obvious, but, if I were able to help it….

"Oh, this?" he said noncommittally, his hand absently moving to his neck. "You know that happens… sometimes."

_That jerk! He already went to fight—_

'You, you shut up. I already agreed not to use you, so shut up.'

To keep the Rude One from piping up again, I jumped up and went to him. I stood on tip toe to get a better look. Blood was sliding down and into his shirt, up close it was even uglier; the flesh that I could see wasn't connected to him and was hanging in jagged, limp strands. I looked away for fear of getting bile on the… cuts, they were probably still flaming with pain… and whatnot.

_That's not pretty_, the Rude One pointed out, I ignored him.

"God, are you okay? Do you want me to go get..." I was about to say 'my mom' but that was most definitely _not _a good idea.

He shook his head 'no' anyway. "Look," he instructed his voice not even the slightest bit stressed or pained. He pulled away the tattered bandage to expose the—

"Ewwwwwwwwww," I groaned turning away. "That's gross, Agatsuma-san!"

He rolled his eyes, "This coming from the boy that _licked_ it to ease my pain."

I gasped, "Never in my _life_ would I lick _that_."

He smiled wryly, "While I was fighting the other couple was really weak anyway, they pointed something out to me._ Look_," he urged, taking my face in his hands. I resisted but assented slowly and looked up, steeling myself for the gore I was sure to find.

There really wasn't any gore of which to speak, the strips of 'flesh' that I had been seeing had been his bandages. But there was blood, lots of blood, no gore, just… blood. I felt the bile rise again, but there was no wound that I could see that all this blood was even coming from. I could now see clearly that what I had taken for the source of all the blood was instead long healed scar tissue of several long, thin cuts. There, carved into the flesh at the base of his neck, was the word 'LOVELESS' in pointed, uneven lettering. I could clearly see it even through the blood.

"It changed," Agatsuma-san stated, a slight smile playing on his lips.

I stood for a second, gaping disdainfully at the gashes in his neck as he tried to explain the significance of him having a word slashed into the skin, so close to vital things. So far I had _nada._

"I'm yours," he stressed, again, putting his hands on my shoulders and guiding me down the sit on the bed. "I am _Loveless_. In spite of everything that I have ever been taught I have _become_ Loveless. I don't know what happened to your… natural fighter, and I don't care. Because I'm _yours_."

I nodded totally confused. 'Maybe if I just go along with it he'll go away.'

The voice in my head, which had _finally _shut up, sputtered, _What!!! But—but he was Beloved, he can't change! _He sounded outraged for reasons I couldn't discern.

'Apparently, he can,' I thought, 'just going along with it.' So far I had come up with three theories about the voice. 1) I was crazy 2) I was insane and 3) I had lost my mind. Banking really hard on the first three.

_NO! He CAN NOT!!! _the voice replied vehemently, I didn't reply, he could believe what ever he wanted.

The back of my throat tingled a little and I coughed.

_HE CAN NOT CHANGE TO- TO _LOVELESS_!!! _the voice shrieked, sounding as though it were about to degenerate into tears.

I had the urge to cough again but I suppressed it.

Soubi, for his part, stared at me expectantly; I suspected he anticipated jumping for joy. Well it wasn't going to come from me.

"He can't change. He_ can't _change. He was the only bit of Seimei I had left," came a thin voice. I felt my face scrunch up, it sounded like my voice. Well my voice if I were close to tears. My hand lifted to touch the ragged skin at Soubi's neck.

_Thaaaat's… definitely odd_, I thought idly, as I caressed his skin.

"How could you, Soubi? It wasn't bad enough that you don't follow my orders, now you have to take Seimei away too?"

_Okay_, I said to the voice in my head, _will you shut up? Soubi, dude,... _He gave no reaction. _Soooouuuubiii?_ No reaction.

Well, my fingers were curling into his skin, but I couldn't _feel _it.

_Ooookay._

"Ritsuka..." he said, his eyes softening. "I love you."

He leaned in and kissed me and I let him.

_Wow_, I said to no one that could hear me, of course, _I think something might be wrong_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ritsuka

* * *

**************************

After the night I learned that there was a whole other pole to my personality (being bipolar bodes well with me, thank you) I learned a lot of other things [granted in lieu of an actual life or actually going to school (school can't teach you the crap that I was taught in those days, well, not _normal _schools anyway)….

Let me try that again: I the days following the night I met Soubi and the other pole of my personality, I skipped school and went with Soubi so that he could teach me completely relevant things that my school could not i.e. that he and I were bound by the same name (Loveless, apparently), that with said name and all the words we (he) knew we were all magical and kick ass and we could fight other pairs with the same name with them. Something I found especially interesting though was that I, sweet, innocent, small me, was supposed to take all the damage if he ('he' being Soubi, cradle robbing Soubi) couldn't block. But that wasn't the interesting part, no the interesting thing was that when he couldn't protect me (the neglectful bastard) I would be bound BDSM style, all leather and chains.

…

Yeah….

Anyways, taking the other shift, to get me completely up to speed, was the voice in my head, my other pole, Inner Ritsuka. He taught me things after I got home and after mom glomped me sobbing "Ritsuka, my Ritsuka!" hysterically. He taught me about park bench kisses and being reeled in by my chain and then being kissed (cause I was such a bad, bad boy) and me kissing him (Soubi the Cradle Robber), then he told me about rendezvous codes and nerd games called Wisdom. And after all that he went on and on and on about a bad, evil, ghastly, horrific, appalling, awful, terrible, dreadful, evilbad Organization commonly known as Septimal Moon, Seven Moons, or Band of Seven (Minus One) Idiots that I should totally hate because they were a bunch of terrorists who sucked hairy balls (Inner Ritsuka didn't say it _quite_ like that but that's the gist I ended up getting).

But after all that was out of the way and Mom had glomped me several thousand more times he told me what had happened during my two-year blackout/internal coma/bipolar episode.

Looooong story short: I was seeing a therapist on Wednesdays.

Yeah….

Anyways, I started going back to school and I met the girl Inner Ritsuka had warned me about, Yuiko. If I were to sum this girl up in a phrase it would be this: pink hair. Now to grasp the force of this couple of words you also must grasp that having pink hair is like taking several stereotypical blonds and concentrating them into into thick, thick syrup. That is to say, Hawatari Yuiko is very, very, very ditzy and talkative and naïve….

Moving right along, I also met Shinonome-sensei. She confirmed my suspicions: Soubi is indeed a jerk-face cradle robber. I joke, but she did ask me about him and gave me a long-suffering/appalled look when I said he was the same jerk-face cradle robber he's always been. Really, I got the impression that she liked him or something; he was a very touchy subject.

All day Inner Ritsuka had given me tips on what to say to people and reminding me of names and giving me answers to questions. Soubi was waiting at the gate when Yuiko, a moony, lovesick, asthmatic girly-boy named Yayoi and I came out. Well, Yayoi was being moony and lovesick and slightly raspy (asthmatic?) over Yuiko, who was trying to politely redirect his longing (panicking and pointing to other girls—and boys) when Soubi did his stalker thing and suddenly appeared behind me and wrapped possessive arms around me. (Let me take a moment to point out the obvious: he is huge and I felt like a rag doll, he could snap me in half if he had a mind to.)

We split, to Yuiko's dismay; Soubi and I went one way and Yayoi and Yuiko went the other.

When we got the his apartment there were two girls about my age and a guy his, on the bed. The girls looked like they were ready to start a make-out session the likes of which the world had never seen in actual life and the guy looked ready to watch, or maybe he was giving them tips using his lollipop… who knew, he was attacking that lollipop though.

The girls, who were actually just androgynous boys, were Natsuo and Yoji and the older dude was Kio. I hadn't seen them before because they were all usually having a threesome at Kio's place. I liked Natsuo but Yoji seemed like the spoiled-princess type who, on good days, just bitched at everybody. And it was a good day so he ended up bitching.

I told Soubi about my other pole that night and let him know that _that_was the me he had come to love to kiss in the not entirely platonic way that made Inner Ritsuka light headed. Soubi took this little tid-bit remarkably in stride, I only had to answer "_What_?" twice. Yoji, Natsuo and Kio heard too but didn't seem to care; they had known me then about as much as I know them now. I also demonstrated the phase in/phase out thing that Inner Ritsuka and I had been working on. He could take over my, _our_, body and I could fade into the peripheral. I learned that Soubi was the one who had given me the phone with the gay butterfly on it. I also learned that he had a thing (masochistic fetish?) for butterflies since his Sensei, with whom he was in hate and secretly intended to suffocate in his sleep, had liked them.

There was palpable sexual tension in a room full of guys, which worried me but it was all good. Life was easy. But all good things come to an end eventually.

* * *

Passing time...like three months? Spot my errors. Or... a beta?


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, so _maybe_ I could've been a little more serious about the explanation of my other pole and Loveless and Mom and all that. But, seriously, my mental health was in turmoil. Sarcasm is easy; dealing with two years' worth of sci-fi changes to my life while I was… away, is not. Forgive me.

If you'l still have me, let's try to recap:

I took a two-year vacation to Nowhereville, I mean, I'm not sure, exactly what it is that happened. But upon meditation I think of it in terms of a tree; I was dormant for two years. That sounds so cool, someone's like, 'Hey, where were you for the last couple years, man. I thought we were going to hang out!' then I can be like, 'Yo, man, I was dormant. You can't be hatin' on me fo' dat.'

… I gotta stop learning English from American rap…

Anyway, then I wake up to find I was being abused, well, abused worse than before, by my mother, who had become a _complete_ shut in, holding out for her _dead_ son. Then, there's the whole 'I have another personality that's nothing like me, and happens to be in love with this _male_ college student that can do magic to defeat the evil organization that killed my brother, who, if word on the street is correct, may or may not _actually_ be dead' thing. Yeah… insert mental breakdown here, please. Knowing these things I sincerely hope you'll forgive me for the smart-assing I was doing before.

Let's start this time without (most of) the sarcasm?

* * *

I relaxed on the floor next to Natsuo, the calm one, and watched Yoji, the bitchy princess, play the nerd game _Wisdom_. Not for the first time I felt myself nodding off. It was only five-thirty in the afternoon, but I couldn't sit through the playing of a game where the objective seemed to be socializing and gaining experience points to level up. So far the gaining of points had not involved anything that was even vaguely interesting… period. All of the characters had armor and swords and there was a potion shop on every level/town, but they were more interested in talking to each other than fighting. I had come to the conclusion that the armor and swords and potions were just status symbols; the better you had the higher up you were. But seriously, I did not understand _how_ it was that one actually went about acquiring experience points; they didn't _do_ anything!!! You probably understand when I tell you: I was nearly dead.

So anyways, I was trying to stay alive while Yoji bitched at the screen for some anonymous reason that I, in my comatose state, couldn't ascertain, when Inner Ritsuka… 'stirred' I guess is the right way to articulate what he did. It felt like someone was swishing a feather over my temple from the inside. _This is boring_, he stated, shifting to the frontline of my consciousness for better reception. I had taken to thinking about how he and I were connected as having a phone in my head. It was pretty much dead on too; there was sometimes a static-y sound over his voice when he was lurking around in certain parts of my brain and the closer he was to my current thoughts the better we could communicate. It was just like a cell phone to have crappy reception even _in_ my head.

No shit? I though back, physically drawing in on myself. I'd noticed a while ago that I tried to bring myself closer to… well, _me_ when I talked to him. I wouldn't have noticed this two years ago, but Inner Rit had, I dunno, _tuned_ my body and mind while I was away; I noticed all kinds of things and was able to link them to things he knew.

_There's nothing going on!_, he whined, totally pathetic.

Dear gods! Through manner of intense deductive thinking did you come to _this _astonishing conclusion?! I fired back. Sarcasm is my best friend.

But it was true. After the demonstration of my multiple personalities, Kio and Soubi had retreated to the bed, the one that Natsuo and I were leaning against, to talk about the nature of a 'person' spawning in one's head. Yoji had adopted the PlayStation controller and had refused to let anyone else play. Natsuo had _let_ Yoji do as he pleased and had been encouraging him to play more prudently ever since; his advice went out the window.

God, I groused to Inner me when Natsuo praised Yoji for attacking a girl in princess gear, he's such an enabler.

_Can I come—_

That is when the phone around my neck began to vibrate and beep.

I nearly died, I swear; I stopped breathing and my heart skipped _several_ beats, way too many for it to be a healthy surprise. People jumping out from behind couches and doors whilst shouting, 'SURPRISE!!!' would've been a healthy surprise. Forgetting that you have a phone around your neck (because it wasn't there the last time you were conscious) and having it ring at max volume making you believe that someone has somehow planted a bomb on you, however, is a good way to have a healthy heart jump out of a healthy person's chest.

Still breathless, I realized I should probably answer it. I grabbed the phone around my neck; it was still ringing and vibrating, and gave a glace around. Everyone was staring at me…. I looked down at the front of my phone.

_Incoming Call: _

_Unknown Name _

_Unknown Number _

I flipped it open anyways, "Uh, hello?" I panted, uncomfortable with the 'Let's-All-Stare-At-Ritsuka' game going on. Inner Ritsuka had passed on his hatred of the spotlight to me; I turned and stopped looking at them looking at me.

"Ritsuka?"

My body involuntarily seized up and my mind blanked, my head felt twelve pounds lighter. The breath in my lungs froze, the room dropped from under me and everything in my vision went white. The voice on the other end was rich and smooth and deep and I swear to every god that ever existed, my heart stopped beating as images of a kind smile, a broad chest, and a long, fluffy tail flooded my mind. They were memories of a better time; when I wasn't so jaded and I had had a family and someone to take care of me. Their sharp contrast with my current reality was cruel.

This voice—the person this voice belonged to, was what had made my home a _home_. Tears pricked at my eyes, but I blinked them away. He had once told me not to cry, it was a memory from long ago, but it felt like a law.

When he spoke next the smile I knew he wore was evident in his voice, "Hey, Ritsuka, it's been so long. Do you even remember me?"

The laugh that left me then felt more real than anything that had come out of my mouth since I'd been 'awake'. "Of _course_ I remember you, silly, you're my big brother! What kind of person would I be if I forgot _you_?"

The room focused and I was staring into Soubi's wide eyed face, he looked like a dog who had heard his master coming up the front steps after a long day. I never had liked dogs, they were so stupid. Even when they were abused they were still loyal to their masters. It took death to break that kind of loyalty.

The smile in his voice turned into a grin. "You wouldn't be my little brother."

I laughed again but the sound was stifled. I felt a little disoriented then, but realized what had happened.

"Seimei? Is it… is it really you? Why are you still alive? Why did you fake your death? Why aren't you here? _Why didn't you take me with you_?" The questions poured from my lips without my permission but I hung back, Seimei was as much Inner Ritsuka's brother as he was mine.

There was a throaty laugh, "Yes, it's really me. I'm alive because I'm not dead. And I'm not there because bad people are after me."

Anger that wasn't quite mine snaked through me and I gripped the phone even tighter, "What did you _do_, Seimei? Did you know Mom almost killed herself because of you! She almost killed _me_!"

"Nisei is being punished; there's not much to be done about a disobedient dog when his training isn't yet complete." As he said this his humor faded and there was a steely tinge to his voice.

I took a moment to ask myself—and Inner Rit—who is Nisei? And what did this guy have to do with my mother trying to… kill things.

"Put Soubi on, Ritsuka I haven't much more time."

For a moment I panicked, all thoughts that didn't involve 'phone number' fled me; I didn't know his number. But the soft chuckle that filled my ear reassured me.

"I'll call back—when I have more time, okay?"

Like an idiot I nodded, "Okay…." There was so much racing through my mind, all of it going much too fast for me to understand in my state of chaos.

Inner Ritsuka unhooked the phone from its necklace and held it out to Soubi. When he took it his hands were shaking, not much, but just enough to belie the cool, collected look on his face. For a moment he just stared at the phone, as if he wasn't quite sure what to do with it. But, whatever trance he was in was broken after a second and he lifted the phone. "Seimei?" he whispered, holding the phone slightly away from his ear. He was still close enough for me to hear the buzz of a reply, but not the actual words. Whatever Seimei said made Soubi cringe. There, under the look of calmness, there was really, very real, fear. Soubi was still shaking. He blanched as whatever Seimei was saying went on.

"…No. I'm not yours anymore," his said lowly, pained voice trembling just a bit, "I'm Loveless." His voice was breathless, he was breathing shallow and fast. Listening to those few words was hearing the pain and suffering of a child ripped, prematurely, from their mother but trying to be strong. "I wouldn't even if it were physically possible for me to."

There was a pause as Seimei replied and in that moment I wanted more that anything to know what he was saying. Soubi held the phone to his ear, completely. All traces of hesitance and fear left him, all emotion left him completely, whatever Seimei was saying was quickly jading Soubi's fearful, dog-loyal mind. "Your orders are the laws of my existence; you ordered me to love him, and I do, I _cannot_ harm him, not only do I love him because I must, I love him because _I _love him. He is my Sacrifice." As he told my brother this he stared at my neck, where the word—where my _name_ had appeared in tiny delicate letters.

Whatever Seimei's reply was, apparently it didn't surprise Soubi. But his face grew somber. "Goodbye… Beloved," and he closed the phone and promptly passed out on top of me.


End file.
